Who are they? Read.
Grimy whore lips, scallops, hanging out of undies and expecting money if you're drunk enough to put your tongue down there.
"Its a wonder christmas doesnt make us want to fuck the burning meat of this manchrist" he once said, but we all know its the only time Uncle Russ lets us on the bad end of his bedstick, primed juicy vulva usually IS Soup of the Day. I thought they were only for eating.
posted by CHESTDICK! @ 5:54 em
3 Comments:
And so its Christmass time again. That time of the year when the Nation/World all comes together in unity to Celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. That Joyus occasion, where even the most evil of us, attend some form of Christmass Church Service.......YOU FUCKING PUSSIES!!!!..... Christmass is about Parties, Drinking, and then appologising to people you pissdd off the night before!!!
Take my Experiance for example... The other night, 2nd Xmass party for the year. Ive been invited to be the 'Hot' date for a friend ( they were the words she used thankyou)! Readily I agreed, Im a bit partial to Kiwi Chicks, as my history is beginning to show. We were picked up by an unamed girl, who was to be our designated driver. Within 2mins of meeting this driver, I knew this was going to be a good night. Firstly, she xplained how her husband would not permit her to go, unless she drove, in other words no drinking! She then outlined the whole night, and discussed how she was going to get maggott bugggered early, and that way by the end of the night, be sober enought to drive home!
.....AAAARRRRRGGHHH HA HA HAAAA.......
AT THE VENUE...
Within 10 mins, she was maggott buggered allright, this Chick, was the Most Fun designated driver Ive ever had. I Just Love Blondes. The work Party consisted of about 60 ppl, all from their work place, there was 3grand on the bar Tab, and quite generally nice, down to earth types whome I seemed to mingle well with.
OK back to the chick... My Desiganated Driver then proceeded to Dance on tables, screamed the words 'Fucking Yea' way to loud, and way to often! The first rumor was at first hard to beleive, but later was confirmed.. Thats right my Designated Driver.. At random times... was pulling her dress up over her head to reveal her lovely little WHITE panties, and bare naked Breasts! It was here that I thought, it was in my best interest, to keep this Chick within Shooting distance.. Yeah Doggies, thats right, my little Olympus, Water/Drop proof camera, was targeted straight at her for the rest of the night!! And Whoooo Whoooo, if only I knew how to Cut n Paste, You, Dear readers, your Xmass would cumm earlier.
Sooo, Now its that time when My Designated Driver has been cut off from the Bar Tab. Surely all Desiganted Drivers Experiance this!
I would like to make a loud Shout Out to the person who then proceded to Sneak her drinks while on this rediculus ban. You Rock Buddy!! I knew that we would be able to get more from this Lady!! Yep soon after... My Designated Driver then began gropeing and kissing everyone, Male and female, Boss or not?? Who Cared anyway?! I was Quite turned on by this. So then, whilst on my way to a scheduled toilet break, My Designated Driver, Grabbed your worthy Nerrator himself, and dragged him into the female tiolets, and began Violently putting his Man Hood into her small tight Moist Spot ( Whatever that is ). Where the fuck were my Morrals? Was I even Thinking about them? FUCK NO... I was to busy listening for the slightet noise of some one walking into this temporary Fuck Nest and spotting our two white arses bouncing off the walls, doors, tiolet bowl, bench! Where the fuck was my Date anyway? Im sure this wasnt part of her plan. Fuck it, I was now in Plan B.
Upon reentering the Party, that feeling of running as fast as you can face first into a brick wall, was right there! The Boss had shut down the Bar tab, and was ordering people to go home, my new found friends were whispering and snickering, dunno what at. Im pretty sure I even heard someone give out a bit of a clap, my Date had gone home, and doesnt respond to my phone calls, and there is not one letter in the word RESPECT shared between me and my Designated Driver. Fuck Me, were we too loud? Like I said earlier, she used the words Fuck Yea to loud and to often. Maybe it was the crash of my body as she threw me into the tiolet cubicle? Guess we'll never know!
So as I leave my Designated Driver, Passed out in her car and head towards the Cab Rank, hopeing that Nobody recognises me.
I ponder... who do I need to appologise to? My Date? My Designated Driver? Her Husband? Perhps the Staff at the Venue, after all, it is them that have to clean up our little mess. Do I even need to appologise? I say im the Victim here! I was taken advantage of. lol. I feel Cheated, used and abussed, Ive got to carry this weight for the rest of my life! Theres even a chance my Date might not invite me to next years bash!
Which means Im free, if anyone outthere needs a reliable Date, for an important Function!
Just Keepin it real, Doggies!!!
THE FINE PRINT:
Nothing of the above forementioned is even a fragment of the truth. It is so exaggerated, it should be illegal. This content should not be read by anyone!! If you do then you are all Lying! In fact, there was not even a Xmass Party so fuck off!
aaaah Azz my good friend, I know by now that these stories are not fabrications... alas, another picture for the scrap book of dirty love I'm afraid... honestly amigo, you amaze me.
Fakie is a cunt
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